When Self-Awareness Becomes a Competitive Edge: Mark’s Story

Mark thought he was saving the day.

In the final moments before a high-stakes client presentation, he swooped in, took over the deck, and led the pitch himself. The client was impressed, so Mark saw it as a win.

His team saw it differently.

To them, it was yet another example of being sidelined—another time their ideas, preparation, and voices were dismissed without acknowledgment.

We’ve seen this pattern before—across industries, levels, and team dynamics. And while intentions may be good, the impact tells a different story.

At The Violet Group (TVG), we’ve led hundreds of assessments and coaching engagements across industries. One thing is clear: self-awareness isn’t a “nice to have”—it’s mission-critical, and it drives real business results.

It’s the difference between a high performer who unintentionally limits their team and a leader who multiplies the talent around them. It’s what turns raw potential into real, measurable impact.

A Leadership Case Study: Mark’s Journey

Mark was a senior leader at a global financial services firm. Known for his technical excellence and strong business results, he was widely respected—but also deeply feared by his team.

Turnover was up. Engagement was down. The company’s leadership knew his team could be a powerful growth driver, but something wasn’t clicking.

Mark didn’t know what he didn’t know.

Uncovering the Gap: Intent vs. Impact

Mark agreed to go through a 360-degree leadership assessment. He expected strong marks, but got a wake-up call instead.

His direct reports described him as "intimidating," "dismissive," and "unapproachable."
His peers noted his habit of dominating discussions, often shutting down collaboration and not leaving much space for open dialogue.
His senior leaders admired his execution but questioned his ability to retain and develop op talent.

Mark was stunned. Defensive, even. “I push them because I know what they’re capable of,” he insisted.

Sound familiar? How often do we assume our good intentions are enough—without pausing to consider how our style actually lands?

But through coaching, Mark began to connect the dots. His drive for excellence wasn’t the issue—it was his lack of self-awareness around how his style landed with others.

The very behaviors he thought made him successful were, in fact, eroding trust, idea sharing, and overall team performance.

From Awareness to Action

The turning point came during a team offsite. In a candid group exercise, one of Mark’s direct reports spoke up:

“A lot of us hold back in meetings. It doesn’t feel like our ideas are wanted.”

That hit differently. It wasn’t anonymous feedback anymore. It was real. Personal. Undeniable.

From that moment, Mark began doing the hard work of changing his style—with the support of an Executive Coach and a focus on three critical areas:

Active Listening & Psychological Safety

He practiced asking open-ended questions and letting others speak first. The silence became productive.

Shifting from Directing to Empowering

He delegated more, resisted the urge to control outcomes, and created space for others to lead.

Managing Emotional Triggers

Mark became aware of how his intensity affected others. He learned to pause, check in, and respond with intention.

The Business Impact of Self-Awareness

A few months later, during a routine team meeting, something changed.

Mark paused to invite input. A junior team member offered an idea. Instead of jumping in with his own solution, Mark asked a follow-up question—then encouraged the team to explore it.

The result? A fresh solution to a persistent client challenge—and a clear signal to the team: your voice matters.

After the meeting, a team member told him,

“This is the first time I’ve felt like I had a real seat at the table.”

These moments matter—especially in today’s workplace, where trust, inclusion, and innovation are top priorities for high-performing teams.

And the numbers backed it up:

Engagement scores rose by 20%
Turnover dropped
Innovation increased, with more team-driven ideas implemented
Cross-functional relationships improved, as peers found Mark more collaborative

Self-awareness didn’t just make Mark easier to work with—it made him more effective.

Final Thoughts: A New Kind of Leadership

Mark still calls himself a work-in-progress. He doesn’t always get it right, but he listens more, reflects often, and invites others in.

That shift—from unconscious impact to intentional leadership—changed everything. Because when leaders understand how they show up, they unlock the power to lead differently. To lead better.

At TVG, we help leaders like Mark build the self-awareness that drives business outcomes—stronger leaders, smarter teams, and better results.

Ready to explore what self-awareness could unlock—for you or your team?

Let’s talk. Contact us to learn more about our leadership solutions.

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All names and identifying information in this post have been edited to protect confidentiality and integrity for TVG's clients.